The Caverns of Kalte

The Caverns of Kalte – Attempt 1, Part 3

As we move forward through this frozen wasteland the next day, some ominous flavour text mentions that the ice shelf, over time, becomes ragged and broken, and (in a development that is MUCH better to read than to actually go through) we have to periodically unpack the sledges and manhandle them across various ridges and cracks.

Just hearing about that makes me :


You said it, little buddy.

Before long, the cracks become crevasses, which require significant delicacy and judgement in crossing.

Thankfully, a certain presidential candidate isn’t along.

Aside : Has anyone commented on the fact that neither of the major party candidates for US President is a man?  No?  Oh well.

Finally, our team reaches a crevasse eight feet wide.  Our sledges are ten feet long and can theoretically bridge the gap, but if the ice shelf on either side breaks, we could lose the bulk of our equipment.  The choices are therefore to either use the (unloaded) sledges as a bridge, or to alternatively jump across (!) with the dogs, and then pull the sledges behind us.


Jumping across actually sounds like the less risky move.  At worst (assuming we can jump eight feet) we might lose some equipment.  But if the edge collapses while walking over, we could lose the lives of one or more of our group.

We might as well jump.




Thanks, I’ll see myself out….

[Tries to decide if that was better or worse than the ‘Force-Lady’ joke]

Irian and Dyce make the jump, while roped up.  I’m next, and have to make an R10 check. I get a 2 which, with my +2 Hunting bonus, is (just) enough to make it to the other side.

We then ascend the 800 foot (!) glacier without further incident, although the dogs act like my children and constantly fight amongst themselves and are generally disruptive.  The food supply is also damaged significantly.

But hey, we got some scenery.


That night’s camp is uneventful and we continue travelling for another ‘three days and nights’, which is dealt with briefly in one part of one sentence.

Another part of the trip that is much more relaxing to read about than live through.

Aside : At least its not as bad as that IDIOTIC part of the Twilight sequel (New Moon) where there are LITERALLY FOUR BLANK PAGES to represent four months where ‘not much happens’.  Goodness gracious, a ten-year-old’s essay would get an F for that ridiculous device.



I’m okay now.

And after this seemingly idyllic interlude, we take our bearings to discover that we’ve veered too far east and are now confronted by the charmingly named Mykjavik mountains.


There are two unpalatable solutions : We can either abandon (!) the dogs and sledges, and continue over the mountains on foot, or retrace our steps to the glacier (losing two days in the process) and pick up the path from there.

Given that we are actually going to have to also return from our destination, abandoning our primary means of transport appears like madness.  I grit my teeth and tell my posse that we’re going to have to retrace our steps.

I’ll summarise the next paragraph by saying that the travel is ‘sheer hell’ and that we actually lose one sledge due to damage, although we do salvage the supplies and equipment that were on it.

After another night’s camp (following the two days’ travel) we wake up to see that Ikaya is now only (!) forty miles away.

We set off with renewed enthusiasm.

I hope.


Base Stats : CS : 17, E : 20, GC 14

Modified Stats : CS : 27, E : 22

Weapons : Sommerswerd (+8 CS), Mace

Backpack : Meal (x5), Healing Potion (+3 E), Laumspur Portion (+5 E), Laumspur Potion (+4E)

Special Items : Map, Crystal Star, Shield (+2 to CS), Sommerswerd, Padded Waistcoat (+2 E)

Kai Rank : Guardian

Kai Disciplines : Camouflage, Animal Kinship, Tracking, Hunting, Sixth Sense, Healing, Mind Over Matter

Final paragraph : 117


4 thoughts on “The Caverns of Kalte – Attempt 1, Part 3

  1. Regarding my comments before you started this book I’d like to point out that today several customers, and my mum, all said its getting colder. THEY think its because Winter is coming, I know its because you’re dragging us through Kalte, but I digress.

    Not sure how much you remember of the book but I salute your avoiding several sections where the red shirts would be slaughtered. I used to do a dance step like that singer, seriously, but that was long ago, sadly also seriously. Worringly I don’t remember the Force Lady joke (she appears in 6 of the books, it could be anywhere).

    Never read any of the twilight books and slightly less likely to now.

    At least Ikaya is in sight now, you shouldn’t have any trouble approaching undetected a fortified stronghold over a snowy desert…

    Liked by 1 person

      1. Ah yes, Overlord Attempt 1 Part 2. At the time I pointed out that I doubled over with that joke and my sense of humour is as twisted now as it was then. I could point out that despite my show of support you DIDN’T like my post but I think you were punished enough by the Horned Cyclops.

        Oh and my dancer instincts are screaming at me to point out that that sort of jump would be SUICIDE on the crevasse because it focuses on height when what you need is distance.

        Liked by 1 person

  2. Never be ashamed of posting a gif of “Diamond Dave”, especially of him in pure rock showman mode. Pretty amazing atheleticism; no wonder my mom had a crush on him (shhh, don’t tell anyone else). My older brother (and thus me) idolized Van Halen, though we did prefer Def Leppard. But VH did have one thing on The Lep. Both bands had their frontmen try mid-air splits, while jumping off the drum riser, in iconic music videos. Joe Elliot made a nice effort in the “Photograph” video, but wasn’t quite able to touch his toes in mid-air. But in the “Jump” video, David Lee Roth got fully horizontal and easily grabbed his feet. In slo-mo during Eddie’s keyboard solo. Advantage: Dave..

    Maybe the most amazing thing about David Lee Roth’s life: he apparently had two dreams as a child. Become a famous rock star (duh) and follow his family into medicine by becoming an Emergency Medical Technician. Not only did he live out both dreams, he became an EMT 𝑎𝑓𝑡𝑒𝑟 fronting a legendary rock band and then finding solo success.

    Liked by 2 people

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