The Jungle of Horrors

The Jungle of Horrors – Attempt 2, Part 3

For those that were worried that the previous cliffhanger would mean a two line entry this time around – fret no more!

Although I do get stabbed by a short sword on my way through (losing 5 Endurance) I join Paido’s comatose body on the other side of the hatch.

As I dash across the kitchen (with, heroically, Paido’s unconscious body over my shoulder) I notice, for some reason, a ‘Vial of Clear Liquid’ sitting next to a bubbling stew and, for some reason (!) I am told that I MUST take this Vial with me (as a Special Item).

This means, for reasons passing understanding, I have to dump one of my remaining precious, precious, Special Items.  I regretfully say goodbye to my Diamond because, you know, unidentified bottles of clear liquid (which could be water) are obviously more important.


As I crash through the doorway at the other end of the kitchen, I am confronted with the traditional gamebook choice of a wooden door or a staircase leading up.

My skills of Pathmanship and Divination both confirm that the room ‘above’ (naturally) gives off a strong aura of ‘good’, and this therefore seems my best option, although running up to the attic is traditionally the WORST choice in any horror movie.

At the top of the stairs I discover a large prayer hall, with the symbol of the flaming sword.  With a moment’s grace, I study the vial of clear liquid and confirm that it contains gnadurn sap, a deadly poison.

I bleakly reflect upon how I narrowly avoided the same type of poison back in Book 2.

As I hear my pursuers (now with added dogs!) behind me, I lug Paido to the other side of the room, only to be confronted with a door that is locked and bolted on the other side…


My Magnakai Discipline of Invisibility (combined with my advanced rank!) gives me an opportunity to hide, while directing the attention of my pursuers (presumably through ventriloquism or similiar skills) to the far corner of the room.

They investigate the corner and, upon finding nothing, collectively leave the chapel, rather (!!) than searching the remainder of the room.


Thank you, white Jesus!

As I return to try and inspect the (locked) back door, my Kai Sixth Sense gives me a hint that the podium may be more than it seems….

Did someone say…..

Well if they didn’t, they should have!

Aside : My younger brother cried for about an hour when SPOILER Optimus Prime died in the 1986 movie.  Of course, the emotional devastation was cheapened when HE RENTED THE SAME DARN MOVIE ABOUT 50 TIMES AFTERWARDS.


As I act on my hunch, I set my burden (that is Paido) down in a recess behind the podium, whereupon his tunic ‘accidentally’ sets off a secret lever, revealing a secret passage.

That’s right – it wasn’t my Kai skills, my choices, or my fighting ability that resulted in my escape, it was the lucky assistance of a tunic sleeve.


Aside : Aladdin – still the best ever Disney animated movie, and I WILL NOT argue about this.

I sneak Paido’s body into the secret passage, and manage, using my basic Kai skills, to perform an elementary triage.

Unfortunately, he is in a coma.  Given my lack of the Curing Magnakai skill, I can tell that he will be dead within an hour without help.  Thinking quickly, I use my Rendalim’s Elixir, mixed with water, to treat him over a period of hours, as I wait with bated breath until dawn the next day to see if he will survive.


There’s a bit of exposition in the next paragraph, so I’ll resort to my trusty bullet points :

  • Paido regains consciousness.
  • He is shocked to learn of my encounter with the Helghast, and I kindly refrain from noting that I had to face this deadly encounter without any help from him.
  • We glumly note that the forces of the Darklords now know our identities and our general location.
  • We realise we must penetrate the Danarg before we are cut off totally by the militaary foreces of the Darklords.
  • We make our way down the passageway, through a button-operated door, before emerging into an odd hexagonal room with numerous plinths, each supporting a large bowl full of a ‘silvery liquid’ (?!)


Just as we were starting to relax, one of the bowls starts to shimmer, projecting an image against the wall of a anthromorphic fly, which can only be Darklord Gnaag.

Project Aon link – Darklord Gnaag

Seriously, if bad movies scared me, Pretty Woman would have wrecked me for life.  Try again.

After recovering from this intimidating image, we search the room and discover various goodies, including a few arrows and 2 Meals.

Pocketing the loot, we descend the stairs, pausing only to symbolically kick over the bown of conductive liquid that projected the image of Gnaag.

And there I leave you, with the important question for comments – is there a movie that you not only didn’t like, but you truly found hateful and offensive?  I often say that, of all the many (and many!) movies I’ve ever seen, the only ones that have primally offended me were Pretty Woman, Armageddon and Highlander II.

Over to you.

Base Stats : CS : 19, E : 25, GC 34

Current Stats : CS : 34, E : 23

Weapons : Sword, Dagger

Weapon-Like Special Items : Silver Bow of Duadon (+3), Sommerswerd (+8 CS),

Backpack : Wrist / Fingerguard, Rope, Lantern, Meals (2)

Special Items : 1. Sommerswerd 2. Platinum Amulet, 3. Crystal Star, 4. Shield (+2 CS),           5. Padded Waistcoat (+2 E), 6. Chainmail Waistcoat (+4 E) 7. Blue Stone Triangle Pendant, 8. Vial of Clear Liquid, 9. Quiver (6 arrows), 10 Fireseeds (5), 11. Pass, 12. Silver Bow of Duadon.

Kai Monastery storage :

  • Backpack Items :
  • Special Items : Mao of Tekaro, Diamonds (2), Boat Ticket, Power Key, Copper Key, Ornate Silver Key, Jewelled Mace, Dagger of Vashna, Brass Whistle.

Magnakai Rank : Tutelary

Magnakai Disciplines : Weaponmastery (+3 CS in Sword, Bow, Mace, Dagger, Spear), Pathmanship, Huntmastery, Divination, Invisibility

Lore-Circles : Fire (+1 CS, +2 E), Solaris (+1 CS, +3 E)

Kai Disciplines : Camouflage, Animal Kinship, Tracking, Hunting, Sixth Sense, Healing, Mind Over Matter, Mindblast (+2CS), Mindshield, Weaponskill (+2 CS in Short Sword)

Paragraph : 201


13 thoughts on “The Jungle of Horrors – Attempt 2, Part 3

  1. I also think that Pretty Woman is Pretty Offensive, and perpetuates the delusional Prince Charming/ Fallen damsel, myth/archetype. I wish that I could have avoided fairytales and Disney movies when I was a little girl, my life would have been so different. I swallowed those stories, hook, line and sinker.We do little girls such a disservice, reading stories like Cinderella and Sleeping Beauty to them. I can see why Frozen is seen to be a more empowering message, If there is one movie that disturbs me on a Primal level, it is The original Exorcist. Nothing has ever frightened me as much ( except my ex Mother In Law) and probably never will. My youngest sister , has never seen it and refuses to. It scarred me for life. When I moved into my current house, I got my friend, who is a Traditional Roman Catholic Priest, to bless the house in the Latin Rite, just to be sure.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Offensive and hateful? The wolf of wall street, and i WILL NOT argue about this. Now something from your lovely GB lawyer: you discarded your Diamond in favour of the Clear Liquid (you have to note this among your Special Items). Last note: you’ve lost 8 EP because of the Helghast’s Psi-Surge, so i think you CANNOT restore those points with your Healing Kai Discipline. I’ve always thought that psychic attacks damage your brain, it’s not a normal wound so you have to wait for a potion or a healing spell in order to heal this “psychic” wound.

    Liked by 1 person

      1. If you mean the 2 Endurance lost at the start of each round, I would argue that even though it is a psychic wound rather than a wound from a weapon, it easily falls within the definition of Endurance lost ‘in combat’, since it is literally during a combat.


    1. Matteo, by that argument how do you handle endurance lost in battles where lacking Psi-screen causes you to fight with a lower combat skill? Do you meticulously keep track of all the extra endurance lost due to the lowered combat skill?

      Liked by 1 person

  3. Ah, Transformers: The Movie. In a better world, the only Transformers movie. In this better world, Michael Bay retired from Hollywood after making The Rock, returning only for a cameo as a douchetastic frat boy in Mystery Men.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. There’s a couple of moments in the 1986 Transformers movie that I’ve wished to have the opportunity to use in Court.

      1. “Spare me this mockery of justice!

      2. “Silence or you will be held in contempt of this Court.”
      “I have nothing BUT contempt for this Court!”

      Liked by 1 person

  4. /Fenrir valiantly attempts to avoid the question/

    Why would anyone continue to watch a movie they find “hateful and offensive”? Especially now that we have remote controls? I’ve never regretted going to the cinema for a movie I picked, because I’d do the bare mimimum of investigating before selecting (but I have avoided movies in the cinema only to later discover I quite enjoy them). I think the answers to your question say less about the movies and more about the responders and how they felt about things when they saw the movies.

    I hated Raising Victor Vargas but its an ok movie. I was very uncertain on one of my first dates (yes my first date was in my early thirties) and its about a cocky teenage lad who’s good with the ladies. This rubbed ALL my insecurities the wrong way. So says more about me than the movie.

    I HATED what I saw of Starsky and Hutch (watched until the end of the party), but we were in a hotel in India at night in a small town, there were dozens of channels with nothing to watch, wife was in very ratty mood, I was interested in watching the second Resident Evil movie on another channel but wife saw Jill Valentine’s rear view swaying into a police station and freaked at me, and other stuff. Yet the movie has very good reviews so it was more me and feeling trapped. Btw, 8 months later the cause of Wives rattiness was cut out in an emergency cesarean so the tale is more funny now.

    I see the points of view from the previous comments, but generally if I’m not enjoying a movie I switch it off before it gets me really worked up. (On the other hand I watched all the sixth series of Buffy The Vampire Slayer which burned out of me any toleration of “lets just keep watching to see if it gets better”).

    I think if I had more friends who could make me watch movies I didn’t want to I’d have a longer list of “Hate That’s”, but thankfully I don’t.☺

    Liked by 1 person

  5. At least your willingness to leave behind a diamond shows you’re not in this for the money. Some poor naive Darklord agent will probably think the poison fairy came by and will keep leaving out bottles of poison in the hope of getting more diamonds. This will result in clumsy cooks wiping out more Drakkarim Assault Units than Lone Wolf can even dream off. Maybe not.

    Its a nice twist that while in Horror Movies the heavily armed searchers always somehow miss the corner that the serial killer is hiding in, this time the serial killer is YOU . Does this mean you can never again yell at the screen, “No No Look over there, no over there you AArgh”?

    Btw, if a movie/tv/book/infomercial scene makes me cry once then it makes me cry EVERYTIME. Damn my sentimentalism 😢

    As for the sleeve opening the secret passageway remember the classic moment in The Princess Bride where its Inigo’s forehead that does it. /There was then a long delay when son sees Willy Wonka and wants an indepth discission of Willy Wonka, Augustus Gloop, how they did the pipe scene, why Willy Wonka hoped the suspence would last and why you had used Willy Wonka . I point out he owns a copy of the movie on YouTube and has watched every video about the movie to be found on YouTube (in English)/

    And Darklord Gnaag never scared me either, mind you by that stage I was a Black Belt at fly swatting with rolled up magazine (the real skill is when you hit hard enough to kill without hitting hard enough to burst, but when you try explaining that to young whippersnapper’s brought up on sprays and stickers they just don’t understand, /sigh/ the old skills are being lost).

    And now to work.

    Liked by 1 person

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